Wednesday, February 23, 2011

WWF "Will Work For Food" Contest

Ladies in Gentlemen welcome to the first bi-annual WWF “Will Work for Food CONTEST” lets get pumped for this main attraction, so exciting that it will not only leave you with SATISFACTION but shake you with a violent REACTION and unquenchable thirst for this blood fire ACTION.

Now Let’s sit, no STAND, no now get on your …NO jump till you drop! !!!

In this body blow battle of beach bodies what do we have at steak? Did I spell that wrong , no I didn’t it’s a STEAK Dinner for one paid in full by the LOSER!!!!

We have in this corner weighing in at 100lbs she slices, she Shreds, she Mixes and Kneads dough , its Janene the Food Processor Chavez!!!!

Now in this Corner, weighing in at 100lbs a man who doesn’t need to be knocked off his feet because he’s one drop of tequila away from it himself Jonny The Shot Glass Nicely!!!!

Two weeks, Two people, One Winner, WHO loses the most percentage of body fat and our WINNER will be anncouned on March 9,2011 on here on the JAE.

Lets Get Ready to GAMBLE!!!!!!!

…srs anyone want in on this? I’m thinkin’ like $20 on Janene

(Actual weight will not be disclosed in this article, however we will use it as a perspective for who’s lost the most weight)

Rigged Politics with Dan Chappy

with Dan Chappy

First of what we hope is a long series of Rigged Politics , only here on the Jackassexpress

Music credit goes to : Armo Kè , the Song is Far From Here (amazing stuff!)

April's Two Cents

Caption Contest

Here is a new idea for JAE! It was inspired by a combination of a website I like to frequent and an attempt to re create some of the hilarious things said on Facebook when pictures are posted. Hope everyone likes it!

Rules: During each new edition of the Jackass Express, a new picture will be posted. Check out the picture and come up with your personal interpretation of what’s going on and create the funniest, cleverest (or most likely, dirtiest) caption you can think of. Send it to my email and each week we will choose the best option and for your amazing wonderful reward, your caption will appear in the next week’s edition! To start you off, here is an example of the type of pictures we will be choosing and an example of a winning caption, submitted by our fearless leader and editor of the JAE, Patrick.


Girl off camera: Do you smoke after sex?”

Brandon: “ I dunno baby, I’ve never looked.”

Tuning Out The Tone Deaf

Tuning Out the Tone Deaf


Many of those who know me, you know my musical tastes tended to scream almost one thing only, Punk rock and those associated with it. Many moons have passed since those days of yore and as any angry teen, we all grow up.

Unfortunately, I'm no exception either.

As a musician, the only way for one to get better is by broadening their horizons and taking inspiration from all walks of life, especially in the mega-diverse world of music. It’s almost impossible to meet someone new and not be introduced to some new musician or ultra-obscure band which of course only a select few are privileged to have ever heard about. But what’s even better is when you are accepted into the fold immediately becoming privy to the wealth of knowledge each member has to offer. There’s no better feeling than knowing something that so few are keen to and even better when you introduce someone new into your secret society (Don’t lie to yourself, you know it’s true!). Hopefully I hope it is here where I can introduce you common folk to some new shit and possibly expand your musical lexicon and bring some much needed diversity in our otherwise mundane lives. So without further ado here begins the first issue of Tuning Out the Tone Deaf exclusively found only on Jackass Express.

For those of you still living in your caves deep inside the Himalayas, Indie band The Decemberists have released their newest album The King is Dead. If you’ve never heard of The Decemberists until now, then shame on you, but if you have then you know that these guys will use any instrument in existence, throw them all together and create an opus that even Bach himself would shed tears over cursing himself for not thinking of it himself. Their latest album though is a bit restrained compared to some of their previous albums, but not drastically so. Here, lead singer/song writer Colin Meloy takes his band in a more country/blues/folk inspired direction filled with slide guitars, harmonicas, banjos, accordions and the sorts and masterfully arranges said instruments into heartfelt ballads such as June Hymn reminiscent of old Dylan. The album kicks off with their first song (as opposed to the second song) Don’t Carry It All which really is a testament to what the rest of the album will be like. It’s a strong opener for an otherwise solid album with great songs all around. The tempos to the first few songs are upbeat which segue into more mellow songs such as Rise to Me to bring you down a bit before resurrecting back into a powerful ending. Meloy’s song writing is as strong as ever and with every new album, definitely matures.

It’s great to see a great band try something new and really pull it off. One might argue that their previous albums are pretty similar which in some ways you would be right. But what The Decemeberists do is just build on what they’re already good at and just adapt new music styles ultimately making something new. If you’re looking for something with a bit of country flair, but with out the annoying twangs that are accompanied with so many of the songs in that genre, then you should definitely give this album a good listen to.